“It gets them out the house, which is nice, and let’s be honest: a little cardio won’t do them any harm.”
Their wives
“They’re really loud, but their songs are mercifully short.”
Karen, upstairs neighbour
“I didn’t teach them any of this. Don’t try and pin this nonsense on me!”
Mr Murphy, former music teacher
“They don’t insist on dozens of takes, it’s usually one and done. Not sure if that means they’re talented and efficient, or just that they’re not trying very hard?”
Geoff, studio engineer
“It’s about time someone put our little town on the map, eh?”
Sarah, resident of Grand Bend, ON
“Joe Cactus show up on time and they don’t keep turning their amps up when I’m not looking. They’re probably my favourite band, come to think of it.”
Terry, live sound engineer
“You can sing your funny little song all you want, mate, but I still got the girl. Grow up, get over it.”
Graham, bearded dragon enthusiast
“They go through strings and picks and drum sticks like nobody’s business; the Joe Cactus boys are putting my kids through college!”
Daisy, music shop owner
“It’s so weird… we won free tickets to a make-your-own vegan candle class, then when we got home, all our plants were gone!”
Aspen and Juniper, social media “plantfluencers”
“This is clearly very derivative and they’ll be hearing from our lawyers in due course.”
